Signs that your beloved hipster band is no longer indie hip…
- They are featured on Zach Braff’s iTunes celebrity playlist
- They have one of those fancy, nontraditional MySpace layouts with, like, 20 top friends instead of the typical eight
- Any ex-cast member of “Friends” is at their show
- They are… Halloween costumes
- They partner up with Denny’s for a new dish
- When playing late night television, the host holds up a CD copy of their latest release rather than the vinyl
- They play late night television
- They are nominated for an “alternative” Grammy
- Are somehow, in any way, shape, or form directly or indirectly involved in or associated with Diablo Cody’s “work”
- They provide the new quirky music for an iPod commercial
- They almost beat Team Chunklet in Whirlyball
- They make it into a Girl Talk track.
- You’re all of a sudden nervous about the few free MP3’s of theirs’ up on your blog even though you’ve paid hundreds of bucks over the years to see them live… even when they played with at least two of Spencer Krug’s side projects
- You can no longer sneak a flask or camera into their show
- Pitchfork and SPIN simultaneously review their new album; Pitchfork posts less than a 5.0 and Rolling Stone gives at least four stars
- They are covered by either Cat Power or Scarlett Johansson
- Timbaland is interested in what they’re doing
- They open for Bright Eyes.
- Feud with Jack White or rumble with Mastadon
- They leave a label like Goner or In The Red to sign with Matador
- For some reason feel obligated to not only encourage folks to vote, but let you know who they are voting for
- The lead singer has a mustache that isn’t made fun of
- You or anyone who dresses like you says something like, “I like their older stuff.”
- Brian Posehn or Patton Oswalt ever mention them, especially in a stand-up routine
- They are on the “New Releases” shelf at Best Buy on the actual day the album comes out
- They play Coachella when the sun is down
- They are featured on Guitar Hero or Rock Band, so you buy it, but you can’t pass their song
- And finally, they make the NME’s Cool People list two years straight
Forever Indie!!!
Photo and Artwork Credits:
Hipster Illustration by Andy © 2008 Rusted Noodle
Hipster Girl by http://www.flickr.com/photos/jongos/
Mr. Flowers Photo by http://flickr.com/photos/steven_sanchez/
This Is Most Likely Not Very True
This entry may contain manipulated photographs, ridiculously outlandish statements, or blatant lies. Laugh, leave, or post a comment.
Tags: Attempts At Humor, Hipsters, Lists
Category(s): Discount Meat
Feel free to leave a response, or trackback from your site.
